ONE MORE GENIE: How Six Free Djinn Became Genies (excerpt)

Date, 2014

Virgilia, Fatima, and SJ-1 were passengers in Marvin’s jet, which Marvin was flying. Since the FAA has a puritanical attitude about airplane pilots engaging in sex play, this meant that for Virgilia, spending the next—

Virgilia pulled out her smartphone and checked the time-display.

—the next twenty-eight minutes sexually playing with Marvin was not an option.

Virgilia was bored.

She looked at SJ-1 and said, “Has Fatima ever told you how she became a bound djinni?

SJ-1 replied calmly, “I would not presume to ask Mistress such a question.”

Virgilia smiled. “Fine, then I’ll ask. Fatima, will you please tell me how you wound up in a lamp?”

Fatima said, “I’ve already told you that story. On May 21, 2010, to be exact.”

Virgilia said, “True. But let me remind you that you owe SJ-1 here. Sheila Johansson making a deal to become SJ-1 in return for her silence, this is the reason that Marvin is in the cockpit whistling, instead of being held in some super-secret FBI jail and being interrogated where Paula Sarin went to.”

Fatima glanced at SJ-1 and then Virgilia. Fatima said, “Fine, I’ll tell her the story.”

****

Fatima said, “Way back when, in 632 B.C., Aleser of my Green Tribe said that Sumera of the Blue Tribe learned her djinni magic from demons. And yes, that’s as much of an insult as it sounds like—”

Virgilia said, “Was that true? About Sumera?”

Fatima shrugged. “Knowing Sumera, it wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, the Blue Tribe demanded that Aleser be turned over to them for ‘correction.’ We said no. The outcome of this was that the Blue Tribe declared war on us. I’m sure they thought they would win, if it was only Blue versus Green. But then the Pink Tribe allied with us. The Brown Tribe, wisely, stayed out of the whole shebang.”

“The Brown Tribe?” Virgilia said. “You didn’t mention them before.”

“Brown Tribe djinn have brown hair, brown skin, and brown eyes. They could pass for human, without shape-shifting. Which is good, I suppose. Because Brown Tribe djinn can’t shape-shift. Their only magic is to foom themselves, plus whatever they’re touching, from Point A to Point B. Most djinn in the Green Tribe don’t consider beings in the Brown Tribe to be true djinn.”

Virgilia said, “Okay, the Green Tribe and the Pink Tribe allied against the Blue Tribe in this war.”

“A place and time were set to start the war. So everyone in the Green Tribe started practicing their repulsion spells—”

Virgilia said, “A repulsion spell, that’s what you used against Marvin, right? That seems like a pretty wimpy spell to use against the Blue Tribe.”

“What I hit Marvin with was the mildest possible repulsion spell, and then I had to use it on him only because he was hurting Master—”

“By Master, Fatima means Paula Sarin,” Virgilia explained to SJ-1. “Marvin was squeezing Paula’s wrist hard enough to hurt, then Fatima pushed him over to the bed.”

Fatima nodded. “If I’d hit Marvin with the repulsion spell that I’d practiced to use against Blue Tribe, Marvin would have smashed into the bedroom’s far wall and he would have died on impact.”

Virgilia stared. “No shit?

“Well, if you disregard that it wasn’t his Date Of Fated Death.”

Virgilia persisted: “Okay, so you planned to hit Blue Tribe with a magical wrecking ball instead of a magical beach ball. Why bother? You know how to kill them, by freezing or immersion—why simply knock them down?”

Fatima said, “Funny you should ask. I asked Ashnadim that same question.”

****

June 17, 632 B.C.
Amid sand dunes, somewhere in Arabia

Fatima spoke the words, and made the gestures, that Ashnadim had just taught her.

FOOM. Fatima grinned as a five-cubit-tall, three-cubit-diameter, cylinder of sand and shimmering air was replaced by a like-sized cylinder of dark water. Which immediately collapsed into the cylindrical tub that now existed in the sand dune.

Ashnadim smiled at her. “I knew you would be quick to master this spell. Very good.”

Fatima’s grin turned wolf-like. “I can’t wait to give Kharmesh a bath.”

Ashnadim’s smile disappeared. “Do not use this spell. Even if we are losing a repulsion-spell battle, do not use it.”

“Why not? We could rid the Earth of that pack of loudmouths, so why even wait?”

“Listen to me, Fatima. Don’t even think it. If you water-swap one djinni in the Blue Tribe, they might not know who did it—”

“Which leaves me free—”

But they will respond by water-swapping two from the Green Tribe. At least two. Then we will respond by disappearing more than two of theirs. More Blue and Green djinn will disappear every second. In less than a minute, the Green Tribe will all be gone. Or worse—”

Worse?

“—the remnant of Green Tribe will have to surrender to Blue Tribe, and we Greens will be so few in number that the humans will no longer fear us.”

“But if I may never use this spell, why learn it?”

“So that if water-swapping starts happening, I want you to kill all the Blue Tribe djinn you can before you yourself are ‘given a bath.’ ”

“So you’re telling me, plan on repulsing them hard. Even though that won’t kill them.”

“Yes. The beings of the Blue Tribe aren’t really djinn, they are wailing human infants. Make them hurt often enough, and Hakeezib [chief of the Blue Tribe] will say Please stop, please stop, we give up.

****

Date, 2014

Virgilia said, “So you learned the spell to put someone underwater, but you never used it.”

Fatima said, “Not until [recently]. That’s because an hour and 27 minutes before the Djinn War was scheduled to begin, the human king Solomon showed up.”

****

June 18, 632 B.C.

Solomon, King of Israel, had just been awakened by a palace servant when they both heard a voice: “SOLOMON, OBEY THE MESSAGES OF GOD.”

Solomon’s sleepy eyes snapped open. Standing in a corner of his bedchamber was a being that could only be an angel: It had silver wings, and silver eyes in an inexpressive face.

Solomon replied, “I am here, O Angel. What does God command?”

[snip]

Aladdin Will Be On The ONE MORE GENIE Cover

The publisher has just commissioned Commotion22 (again) to do the cover art for One More Genie. Here’s the part of the email that describes the cover:

DESCRIPTION OF ART: The setting for this picture will be the “Arabian Dreams” set (Arab-palace set) that you bought recently. Decorating the set is at your discretion. Lighting is to be DAYLIGHT. Pictured, going from right to left (or from left to right, at your discretion):

1) Princess Badroulbadour. She is young and attractive, and dressed expensively but modestly. She is wearing slippers. She is touching, and is totally focused on–

2) Aladdin. The model for “Arab Outfit M4” is how I picture him. He is dressed expensively, and does not have much facial hair. He is wearing shoes or slippers. He does not look like Disney’s Aladdin (who among other things, is clean-shaven). Conspicuous on one of his fingers (left hand or right hand, your discretion) is a bejeweled ring. Aladdin is looking directly at the camera, and is grinning.

2a) Aladdin is holding the Lamp in his right hand. It’s the same prop as before, but this time the Lamp is yellow and shiny.

3) Kharmesh the genie. He has blue skin and dark-blue facial hair; a bejeweled turban covers up his scalp hair. He is very tall, and very muscular; like your Beezle-Bob figure, but blue. Kharmesh has more facial hair than Aladdin. Kharmesh wears curly-toed slippers (optional). Kharmesh is looking at Aladdin with a self-satisfied expression.

4) Fatima. She is slightly upstage of (behind) Kharmesh, so that it is clear that she is facing only Kharmesh and is ignoring the two humans. Her mouth has a sideways scowl, her eyes are looking at the ceiling, and she has her hands up in a “What am I to do about you?” expression.

For those of you who tuned in late, Fatima is the main genie character in Three More Wishes: Be Kind To Your Genie.

Edit 2015.01.09—

The cover is finished; here’s a piece of it.

ONE MORE GENIE cover, cropped

I Now Have All Nine Novels And Stories On Smashwords

The prices at Smashwords are the same as other stores. But in the Smashwords Store, you get your choice of formats—

• MOBI (read on Kindle e-readers)
• EPUB (read on Nook e-readers)
• PDF (read everywhere)
• RTF format (read on tablets, laptops, and desktops)
• LRF format
• TEXT
• the original DOC file

Smashwords also has the publisher supply a “short description” (not more than 400 characters) that tells what the book is about. That way, you know whether or not you want to go to that book’s page and read the full sales blurb.

I now demonstrate the short description, nine times—

NAMES HAVE POWER

Tim Hanson, an honest young car dealer, tries to save the life of a dying man after a traffic accident. But the whole “accident” was a test by an ancient god, and Tim was the first human to pass the test. The god rewards Tim with a magic power—but the god doesn’t tell Tim what the magic power is, or how it works.

Apple BLOCKED! But you can buy the ebook in EPUB format through Smashwords
NAMES HAVE POWER in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

THREE MORE WISHES

Why do genies give you three wishes, not just one? Then when the genie grants your three wishes, it’s game over, right? A good guy learns the answers to these questions. The novel comes with four full-color illustrations inside.

THREE MORE WISHES in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

THE BIMBORG

A mad scientist turns 22 million Earth women into sex cyborgs. Five years later, these sex cyborgs, plus one brave young man, are all that can save Earth’s billions of people from the Cybes (evil cyborgs from the future). But what about the 27th century’s Space Navy, which regularly defeats the Cybes? The Space Navy gets prevented from ever existing. This is a Star Trek parody.

Kindle BLOCKED! But you can buy the ebook in MOBI format through Smashwords
THE BIMBORG in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

CAPTIVE OF THE BARBARIAN KING

An almost-virgin is captured by a sexy foreign king, and her future hangs on how well she pleasures him in bed that first night. But first, for his own reasons, the king spends much time pleasuring her. The author wrote this long ago for his then-fiancée.

CAPTIVE OF THE BARBARIAN KING in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

THE HYPNO-TALKER OF ZLAR (HTOZ1)

An alien spaceship lands in suburban Wheat City and hypnotizes the neighborhood women to get naked and board the spaceship. The U. S. Army shows up, kills the aliens, takes the women off the ship—then loads the women onto trucks and takes them away. It’s up to old man Kevin, a partly deaf, Vietnam-era draftee, to rescue his neighbors from the Army.

THE HYPNO-TALKER OF ZLAR in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

HYPNO-TALKER’S FIRST DOWNLOAD (HTOZ2)

A mysterious man, VietVetElecEngnr51, has uploaded plans for something called a “hypno-talker” to a pirate site. Everyone on the internet is convinced that the hypno-talker is a fraud. But Odysseus is in a desperate situation at work, so he downloads the hypno-talker plans, builds the device, and uses it.

HYPNO-TALKER’S FIRST DOWNLOAD in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

REVENGE AT COLLEGE (HTOZ3)

Jerry Green wasn’t socially skilled. He asked hottie Cindy, who was way out of his league, for a date. But Cindy didn’t tell Jerry “No,” or even “Are you kidding?” Instead, Cindy set up Jerry to be played for a fool and publicly humiliated. Now Jerry wants revenge on Cindy and the other girls who helped set up the cruel “prank.” Thanks to a hypno-talker, Jerry might get his revenge.

REVENGE AT COLLEGE in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

NERD SAVES WOMEN (HTOZ4)

Nineteen woman, from nineteen different countries—first, aliens kidnapped them and forced the women to give birth to alien babies. Then when the aliens released the women, immediately the U. S. Army kidnapped them. Now Egbert, a college-age nerd, wants to rescue the women, with the help of a stripper and an old man. The only weapon that Egbert owns is a wooden practice sword.

NERD SAVES WOMEN in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats

THE HYPNO-TALKERS OF ZLAR FOUR-IN-ONE

Contains four stories about aliens kidnapping women to make alien babies, U. S. government conspiracies, hypnotic alien technology, revenge, nineteen damsels in distress, synthesized gold, and nerds getting sex.

THE HYPNO-TALKERS OF ZLAR FOUR-IN-ONE in the Smashwords Store—your choice of formats